{"id":616,"date":"2017-11-27T19:28:16","date_gmt":"2017-11-27T17:28:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/yalpertem.com\/blog\/?p=616"},"modified":"2017-11-27T19:28:16","modified_gmt":"2017-11-27T17:28:16","slug":"gecgin-bir-yer-aramak-uzerine","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/yalpertem.com\/blog\/2017\/11\/27\/gecgin-bir-yer-aramak-uzerine\/","title":{"rendered":"Ge\u00e7gin, Bir Yer Aramak \u00dczerine"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"“Ba\u015f\u0131 hafiften d\u00f6n\u00fcyor, kulaklar\u0131 tutu\u015fmu\u015f gibi yan\u0131yordu. Ayr\u0131ca kula\u011f\u0131nda herhalde \u00e7evreden gelen seslerden kaynaklanmayan bir u\u011fultu s\u00fcr\u00fcp gidiyordu. Galiba h\u00e2l\u00e2 hastay\u0131m, diye d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fc. Ama belki daha \u00f6nce hastayd\u0131, \u015fimdi iyile\u015fiyordu. Her ko\u015fulda uzun s\u00fcredir hangisinin hastal\u0131k hangisinin iyile\u015fme oldu\u011fundan, hangisinden \u00e7\u0131k\u0131p hangisine girdi\u011finden pek emin de\u011fildi.<\/p>\n

Yola ni\u00e7in \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 an\u0131msamaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Ba\u015flang\u0131\u00e7ta herhalde bir d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcncesi vard\u0131. Ama bu d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnce her neyse, galiba \u00e7oktan geride kalm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. \u00d6yleyse bu s\u00fcren \u015fey ne, diye sordu kendi kendine, daha ni\u00e7in h\u00e2l\u00e2 s\u00fcr\u00fcyor? Belki art\u0131k yaln\u0131zca s\u00fcrd\u00fc\u011f\u00fc i\u00e7in s\u00fcr\u00fcyordu, art\u0131k nas\u0131l duraca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 bilmedi\u011fi i\u00e7in s\u00fcr\u00fcyordu. Dizlerini kendine \u00e7ekip kafas\u0131n\u0131 \u00fcst\u00fcne b\u0131rakt\u0131.<\/p>\n

Bir s\u00fcre o durumda uyuklam\u0131\u015f olmal\u0131. Sonra kalkt\u0131, cadde boyu insanlar\u0131n aras\u0131ndan y\u00fcr\u00fcd\u00fc. Bir el sanki omzundan tutup onu durdurmak istedi. Arkaya d\u00f6n\u00fcp d\u00f6n\u00fcp bakt\u0131. Pe\u015finden gelen, omzunu tutan olmad\u0131.<\/p>\n

Ara sokaklardan birine dald\u0131, sonra ba\u015fka bir soka\u011fa. Bir \u00e7e\u015fmeye rastlay\u0131nca su i\u00e7ti, elini y\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc y\u0131kad\u0131. Bir \u00e7\u00f6p bidonunun yan\u0131na gelince a\u00e7 hissetmedi\u011fine g\u00f6re herhalde al\u0131\u015fkanl\u0131ktan durum \u00e7\u00f6p\u00fc kar\u0131\u015ft\u0131rd\u0131. \u00c7\u0131kmaz bir sokakta bir dire\u011fe ba\u011flad\u0131klar\u0131 kovay\u0131 pota yap\u0131p plastik bir topla ba\u011f\u0131ra \u00e7a\u011f\u0131ra basket oynayan \u00e7ocuklara rastlay\u0131nca durup bir s\u00fcre \u00e7ocuklar\u0131 izledi. Geni\u015f bir in\u015faat b\u00f6lgesinden ge\u00e7ti. Tahta perdelerin ard\u0131nda \u00e7ok katl\u0131 d\u00f6rt-be\u015f binan\u0131n iskeleti y\u00fckseliyor, biraz \u00f6tede dev in\u015faat ara\u00e7lar\u0131 g\u00fcr\u00fclt\u00fcyle yeni temel \u00e7\u0131k\u0131rlar\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131yordu.<\/p>\n

K\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck, bo\u015f bir arazinin kenar\u0131na gelince dinlenmek i\u00e7in g\u00f6vdesi e\u011fik, c\u0131l\u0131z bir a\u011fac\u0131n alt\u0131na oturdu. Baz\u0131 a\u011fa\u00e7larda k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck, beyaz \u00e7i\u00e7ekler a\u00e7m\u0131\u015ft\u0131. \u00c7i\u00e7eklere bak\u0131p k\u0131\u015f\u0131 atlatm\u0131\u015f\u0131m, diye d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fc. Ama nas\u0131l? \u015eu son birka\u00e7 g\u00fcn\u00fcn olaylar\u0131 bile \u015fimdiden aylar ya y\u0131llar \u00f6nce olmu\u015f gibi gerilere \u00e7ekilip silikle\u015fmeye ba\u015flam\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Belle\u011fi belki art\u0131k hi\u00e7bir izi tutmuyordu. Ama ayn\u0131 zamanda belle\u011fi sanki a\u011fz\u0131na kadar doluydu da tam neyle doluydu, bilmiyordu. A\u011fz\u0131n\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131p dolu bir bo\u015fluk, diye m\u0131r\u0131land\u0131, ama ne demekti bu, dolu bir bo\u015fluk nas\u0131l olabilirdi?<\/p>\n

Kasketli, ya\u015fl\u0131 bir adam ge\u00e7erken durup ona seslendi. Ne dedi\u011fini anlamad\u0131. Kalkt\u0131, evlerin \u00f6n\u00fcnde oturan ya\u015fl\u0131, gen\u00e7 kad\u0131nlar\u0131n, sokakta oynayan k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n, k\u00f6\u015fe ba\u015flar\u0131nda dikilmi\u015f gen\u00e7 erkeklerin \u00f6n\u00fcnden ge\u00e7ti. Ge\u00e7erken bak\u0131\u015flar\u0131n\u0131 \u00fcst\u00fcnde hissetti. Kafas\u0131n\u0131 kald\u0131rmad\u0131.<\/p>\n

Bir mahallede irili ufakl\u0131 bir s\u00fcr\u00fc \u00e7ocuk bu kez oyunlar\u0131n\u0131 b\u0131rak\u0131p \u00e7evresini sard\u0131. Yeniden y\u00fcr\u00fcmeye ba\u015flay\u0131nca pe\u015fine tak\u0131ld\u0131lar, g\u00fcl\u00fcp ba\u011fr\u0131\u015farak arkas\u0131ndan ta\u015f att\u0131lar. \u00c7ocuklar\u0131n yan\u0131nda iri bir k\u00f6pek vard\u0131, ayaklar\u0131 dibinde h\u0131rlay\u0131p havlad\u0131. Ta\u015flardan biri kafas\u0131na geldi. “\u00c7ocuklar yapmay\u0131n,” dedi ama dedikleri \u00e7ocuklar\u0131 azd\u0131rmaktan ba\u015fka bir i\u015fe yaramad\u0131. Neyse ki yoldan ge\u00e7en iki kad\u0131n \u00e7ocuklar\u0131 da\u011f\u0131tt\u0131.<\/p>\n

\u00c7ocuklardan kurtulana kadar ter i\u00e7inde kalm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Sessiz, sakin bir soka\u011fa geldi\u011finde soluklanmak i\u00e7in kald\u0131r\u0131m\u0131n kenar\u0131na oturdu, s\u0131rt\u0131n\u0131 herhalde bir evin bah\u00e7esine ait olan kire\u00e7 boyal\u0131 duvara yaslad\u0131. Kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda iki-\u00fc\u00e7 katl\u0131 evler, k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck bostanlar, kavak a\u011fa\u00e7lar\u0131n\u0131n a\u011f\u0131r a\u011f\u0131r sallanan tepeleri hafif bir e\u011fimle yama\u00e7lara do\u011fru y\u00fckseliyor, da\u011flar\u0131n ba\u015flad\u0131\u011f\u0131 yerde kesiliyordu. Hava berrak, da\u011flar belirgindi, g\u00fc\u00e7s\u00fcz g\u00fcne\u015fin \u0131\u015f\u0131klar\u0131 alt\u0131nda zirvelerdeki karlar par\u0131ld\u0131yordu.<\/p>\n

G\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc da\u011flara dikti. Da\u011flar k\u0131p\u0131rt\u0131s\u0131zl\u0131klar\u0131 i\u00e7inde sanki g\u00f6ky\u00fcz\u00fcne do\u011fru hafif\u00e7e havalanm\u0131\u015f gibiydiler. Ba\u015fka ne yapabilirim, dedi kendi kendine, ba\u015fka nereye gidebilirim? Yoksa yer d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcncesinden bile kurtulmas\u0131 m\u0131 gerekiyordu? Da\u011f\u0131n zirvesi, bo\u015flu\u011fa bir ad\u0131m, sonra bir bulut. \u0130nsan bir bulutun \u00fcst\u00fcnde oturabilir mi? Bir bulutu evi yapabilir mi?”<\/p>\n

Ayhan Ge\u00e7gin, Uzun Y\u00fcr\u00fcy\u00fc\u015f, Metis Yay\u0131nlar\u0131, 2016 [2015], 2. bas\u0131m, s. 103-5.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

“Ba\u015f\u0131 hafiften d\u00f6n\u00fcyor, kulaklar\u0131 tutu\u015fmu\u015f gibi yan\u0131yordu. Ayr\u0131ca kula\u011f\u0131nda herhalde \u00e7evreden gelen seslerden kaynaklanmayan bir u\u011fultu s\u00fcr\u00fcp gidiyordu. Galiba h\u00e2l\u00e2 hastay\u0131m, diye d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fc. Ama belki daha \u00f6nce hastayd\u0131, \u015fimdi iyile\u015fiyordu. Her ko\u015fulda uzun s\u00fcredir hangisinin hastal\u0131k hangisinin iyile\u015fme oldu\u011fundan, hangisinden \u00e7\u0131k\u0131p hangisine girdi\u011finden pek emin de\u011fildi. Yola ni\u00e7in \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 an\u0131msamaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Ba\u015flang\u0131\u00e7ta herhalde bir d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcncesi … Continue reading Ge\u00e7gin, Bir Yer Aramak \u00dczerine<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[33,8,30],"tags":[32,183],"class_list":["post-616","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-alinti","category-roman","category-yurumek","tag-ayhan-gecgin","tag-uzun-yuruyus"],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p9WYIs-9W","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":553,"url":"https:\/\/yalpertem.com\/blog\/2017\/11\/20\/gecgin-gece-uzerine\/","url_meta":{"origin":616,"position":0},"title":"Ge\u00e7gin, Gece \u00dczerine","author":"yalpertem","date":"20 November 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"\"Aylard\u0131r gecelerimi bu radyosuz, televizyonsuz, telefonsuz evde kanepeye uzanarak ge\u00e7iriyordum. E\u011fer d\u0131\u015fardaysam korkum daha trene biner binmez ba\u015fl\u0131yordu. Neredeyse bo\u015f gece treninde -elleri ap\u0131\u015faralar\u0131nda yorgun birka\u00e7 i\u015f\u00e7i, ba\u015f\u0131 \u00f6n\u00fcne d\u00fc\u015fen bir sarho\u015f, ileri geri gidip gelen, bir koltuktan kalk\u0131p di\u011ferine oturan evsiz bir ergen- deniz boyunca sahil yoluna yak\u0131nla\u015f\u0131p uzakla\u015farak\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "al\u0131nt\u0131"","block_context":{"text":"al\u0131nt\u0131","link":"https:\/\/yalpertem.com\/blog\/category\/alinti\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/yalpertem.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/genclik-dusu-ayhan-gecgin-199x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":1003,"url":"https:\/\/yalpertem.com\/blog\/2018\/03\/04\/blanchot-yazma-kitap-ve-okuma-uzerine-i\/","url_meta":{"origin":616,"position":1},"title":"Blanchot, Yazma, Kitap ve Okuma \u00dczerine (I)","author":"yalpertem","date":"4 March 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Bir Blanchot kitab\u0131ndan \"yaz\u0131\" \u00fczerine k\u0131sa bir pasaj al\u0131nt\u0131lamak ahmakl\u0131k. K\u00fclliyat\u0131 zaten yazmay\u0131, okumay\u0131, al\u0131nt\u0131lamay\u0131, ba\u015fka metinleri, onlar\u0131n yazarlar\u0131yla muhabbeti ku\u015fatm\u0131\u015f okur-yazardan b\u00f6ylesi bir par\u00e7a s\u00f6k\u00fcp \u00e7\u0131karmak utan\u00e7 verici. Ne okumak, ne yazmak, ne konu\u015fmak, ne var ki sadece bunlarda yatar daha \u015fimdiden s\u00f6ylenmi\u015f olandan, Bilme'den, anla\u015fmadan kurtulu\u015fumuz, verilenin belki\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "al\u0131nt\u0131"","block_context":{"text":"al\u0131nt\u0131","link":"https:\/\/yalpertem.com\/blog\/category\/alinti\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/yalpertem.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/maurice-blanchot-felaket-yazisi-198x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":986,"url":"https:\/\/yalpertem.com\/blog\/2018\/03\/08\/blanchot-alintilamanin-elestirisi\/","url_meta":{"origin":616,"position":2},"title":"Blanchot, Al\u0131nt\u0131laman\u0131n Ele\u015ftirisi ve Yazar\u0131n H\u00e2li","author":"yalpertem","date":"8 March 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Benim bu blog'a al\u0131nt\u0131lar ta\u015f\u0131rken i\u00e7ine girdi\u011fim ve \u00e7\u0131kmaya \u00e7abalad\u0131\u011f\u0131m baz\u0131 \u00e7\u0131kmazlar var. B\u00f6ylesi bir alan a\u00e7madaki ilk niyetim \u015f\u00f6yleydi: g\u00fcn\u00fcm\u00fczde \u00fcretilen ve payla\u015f\u0131lan g\u00f6rsel, i\u015fitsel ve yaz\u0131nsal i\u00e7erikler kimi zaman ge\u00e7mi\u015fte hali haz\u0131rda \u00fcretilmi\u015flerin k\u00f6t\u00fc kopyalar\u0131, az biraz de\u011fi\u015ftirilmi\u015f yutturmacalar\u0131, ilk metinlerin \u00fczerine d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnce veya estetik bir art\u0131 de\u011fer\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "al\u0131nt\u0131"","block_context":{"text":"al\u0131nt\u0131","link":"https:\/\/yalpertem.com\/blog\/category\/alinti\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/yalpertem.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/maurice-blanchot-felaket-yazisi-198x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":279,"url":"https:\/\/yalpertem.com\/blog\/2017\/09\/04\/gecgin-sokak-insani-uzerine\/","url_meta":{"origin":616,"position":3},"title":"Ge\u00e7gin, Sokak \u0130nsan\u0131 ve S\u0131n\u0131r \u00dczerine","author":"yalpertem","date":"4 September 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"\"O s\u0131ra az \u00f6temde \u015eair denen herifi g\u00f6rd\u00fcm. Duvar\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcne t\u00fcnemi\u015f, iki b\u00fckl\u00fcm oturuyordu. Berbat g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcyordu. Y\u00fcz\u00fc dayak yemi\u015f gibiydi -ama elbette yedi\u011fi darbeler, yumruklar, tekmeler g\u00f6r\u00fcnmez t\u00fcrdendi- \u00e7evresi kararm\u0131\u015f, altlar\u0131 morarm\u0131\u015f \u00e7apakl\u0131 g\u00f6zleri neredeyse kapanm\u0131\u015ft\u0131, g\u00fcl\u00fcyormu\u015f\u00e7as\u0131na yanlara do\u011fru gerilmi\u015f, kas\u0131lm\u0131\u015f a\u011fz\u0131nda di\u015f yoktu, sa\u00e7\u0131 sakal\u0131 kaskat\u0131, \u00fcst\u00fc ba\u015f\u0131 berbat\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "al\u0131nt\u0131"","block_context":{"text":"al\u0131nt\u0131","link":"https:\/\/yalpertem.com\/blog\/category\/alinti\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/yalpertem.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/genclik-dusu-ayhan-gecgin-199x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":1584,"url":"https:\/\/yalpertem.com\/blog\/2018\/05\/25\/tanpinar-duse-kalka-sorumsuz-seyreden-insan\/","url_meta":{"origin":616,"position":4},"title":"Tanp\u0131nar, D\u00fc\u015fe Kalka Sorumsuz Seyreden \u0130nsan","author":"yalpertem","date":"25 May 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"\" \u0130hsan devam etti: \u2014 Sen insandan mesuliyet duygusunu kald\u0131r\u0131yorsun. Yerine birtak\u0131m haz\u0131r, yarad\u0131l\u0131\u015ftan gelme faziletler koyuyorsun. Halbuki insan mesuliyet duygusundan ba\u015flar. \u00d6b\u00fcrleri miza\u00e7 zenginlikleridir. Nitekim hik\u00e2yende bir evlenme, bir hayal d\u00fc\u015f\u00fc\u015f\u00fc veya sebepsiz nefretle kahraman\u0131n, tasavvur etti\u011fin tanr\u0131 adam, cinayete do\u011fru de\u011fi\u015fiyor. Halbuki mesuliyet duygusu... \u2013 Mesuliyet duygusu da\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "al\u0131nt\u0131"","block_context":{"text":"al\u0131nt\u0131","link":"https:\/\/yalpertem.com\/blog\/category\/alinti\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/yalpertem.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/05\/ahmet-hamdi-tanp%C4%B1nar-huzur-207x300.png?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":493,"url":"https:\/\/yalpertem.com\/blog\/2017\/11\/15\/gurbuz-durgunluk-ve-keder-uzerine\/","url_meta":{"origin":616,"position":5},"title":"G\u00fcrb\u00fcz, Durgunluk ve Keder \u00dczerine","author":"yalpertem","date":"15 November 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"\"Babam gen\u00e7li\u011finde ve \u00f6\u011frencilik y\u0131llar\u0131nda, kendi tabiri ile \"Hayat onun i\u00e7ine damlarken\", bu damlay\u0131\u015fta yine kendi tabiri ile \"pasl\u0131 bir tat\" bulmu\u015f. B\u00fct\u00fcn bunlar\u0131 nas\u0131l bulmu\u015f bilemiyorum. Babam\u0131n ya\u015f\u0131na ben de geldim, gezdi\u011fi \u00fclkeleri ben de gezdim ama onun g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn\u00fc ve bakt\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 ve o hep s\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc etti\u011fi pas izini g\u00f6remedim.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "al\u0131nt\u0131"","block_context":{"text":"al\u0131nt\u0131","link":"https:\/\/yalpertem.com\/blog\/category\/alinti\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/yalpertem.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/11\/coskuyla-olmek-sule-gurbuz-199x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"amp_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/yalpertem.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/616","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/yalpertem.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/yalpertem.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yalpertem.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yalpertem.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=616"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/yalpertem.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/616\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/yalpertem.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=616"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yalpertem.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=616"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yalpertem.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=616"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}