{"id":2603,"date":"2019-05-12T22:18:14","date_gmt":"2019-05-12T19:18:14","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/yalpertem.com\/blog\/?p=2603"},"modified":"2020-12-06T00:30:15","modified_gmt":"2020-12-05T21:30:15","slug":"proust-okuma-evreni-ve-dis-dunya","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/yalpertem.com\/blog\/2019\/05\/12\/proust-okuma-evreni-ve-dis-dunya\/","title":{"rendered":"Proust, Okuma Evreni ve D\u0131\u015f D\u00fcnya"},"content":{"rendered":"\r\n
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\"\"<\/figure>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

“<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

O sonbahar yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131m gezintiler, saatlerce kitap okuduktan sonra gezmeye \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131\u011f\u0131m i\u00e7in, daha da zevkliydiler. B\u00fct\u00fcn sabah salonda kitap okumaktan yorgun d\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc\u011f\u00fcmde, battaniyemi omuzlar\u0131ma sar\u0131p d\u0131\u015far\u0131 \u00e7\u0131kard\u0131m; uzun m\u00fcddet mecburen bedenim, b\u0131rak\u0131lan bir topa\u00e7 gibi, bu fazlal\u0131klar\u0131 d\u00f6rt bir yana savurma ihtiyac\u0131 duyard\u0131. Evlerin duvarlar\u0131, Tansonville’in \u00e7iti, Roussainville Orman\u0131’n\u0131n a\u011fa\u00e7lar\u0131, Montjouvain’in s\u0131rt\u0131n\u0131 verdi\u011fi \u00e7al\u0131lar \u015femsiye veya baston darbelerine maruz kal\u0131r, ne\u015feli \u00e7\u0131\u011fl\u0131klar i\u015fitirlerdi; hem darbeler, hem de \u00e7\u0131\u011fl\u0131klar beni co\u015fturan, h\u0131zl\u0131 bir \u00e7\u0131k\u0131\u015f yoluna kolayca varmam\u0131 a\u011f\u0131r ve zor bir ayd\u0131nlanmaya tercih ettiklerinden ayd\u0131nl\u0131\u011f\u0131n s\u00fck\u00fbnetini tadamam\u0131\u015f, kar\u0131\u015f\u0131k d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcncelerden ba\u015fka bir \u015fey de\u011fillerdi. Hislerimizin s\u00f6zde ifadeleri, \u00e7o\u011funlukla hislerimizi bu \u015fekilde, kendilerini tan\u0131mam\u0131za imk\u00e2n vermeyen bir bi\u00e7ime b\u00fcr\u00fcnm\u00fc\u015f halde d\u0131\u015f\u0131m\u0131za \u00e7\u0131karmak suretiyle bizi bu hislerden kurtarmaktan \u00f6teye gitmez. M\u00e9s\u00e9glise taraf\u0131na neler bor\u00e7lu oldu\u011fumu, M\u00e9s\u00e9glise’in tesad\u00fcfi \u00e7er\u00e7evesi ya da zorunlu esin kayna\u011f\u0131 oldu\u011fu m\u00fctevazi ke\u015fifleri hesaplamaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131mda, duygular\u0131m\u0131zla onlar\u0131n ola\u011fan ifadesi aras\u0131ndaki bu uyumsuzlu\u011fu ilk defa o sonbaharda, o gezintilerden birinde, Montjouvain’in yasland\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u00e7al\u0131l\u0131k bay\u0131rda, hayretler i\u00e7inde fark etti\u011fimi hat\u0131rl\u0131yorum. Bir saat boyunca ya\u011fmura ve r\u00fczg\u00e2ra kar\u015f\u0131 ne\u015feyle m\u00fccadele ettikten sonra, Montjouvain’in k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck g\u00f6l\u00fcn\u00fcn kenar\u0131na, M. Vinteul’\u00fcn bah\u00e7\u0131van\u0131n\u0131n aletlerini koydu\u011fu kiremit kapl\u0131 k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck kul\u00fcbenin \u00f6n\u00fcne geldi\u011fimde, g\u00fcne\u015f yeniden a\u00e7m\u0131\u015ft\u0131; ya\u011fmurun y\u0131kad\u0131\u011f\u0131 yald\u0131zl\u0131 g\u00fcne\u015f \u0131\u015f\u0131nlar\u0131 g\u00f6ky\u00fcz\u00fcnde, a\u011fa\u00e7lar\u0131n, kul\u00fcbe duvar\u0131n\u0131n, tepesinde bir tavu\u011fun gezindi\u011fi h\u00e2l\u00e2 \u0131slak kitemit \u00e7at\u0131n\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcnde, yepyeni parlamatayd\u0131. Esen r\u00fczg\u00e2r, duvardaki \u00e7atlaklarda bitmi\u015f yabani otlar\u0131 ve tavu\u011fun t\u00fcylerini yana do\u011fru \u00e7ekiyor, hem otlar, hem de t\u00fcyler, cans\u0131z ve hafif nesnelerin kendini b\u0131rakm\u0131\u015fl\u0131\u011f\u0131yla, botlar\u0131 yetti\u011fince, r\u00fczg\u00e2r\u0131n keyfine g\u00f6re u\u00e7u\u015fuyorlard\u0131. G\u00fcne\u015fin tekrar yans\u0131t\u0131c\u0131 bir y\u00fczey haline getirdi\u011fi g\u00f6lc\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn \u00fczerinde kiremit \u00e7at\u0131 daha \u00f6nce hi\u00e7 dikkatimi \u00e7ekmemi\u015f olan pembe mermer damarlar\u0131 olu\u015fturuyordu. Suyun ve duvar\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcnde, g\u00f6ky\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fcn g\u00fcm\u00fcsemesine kar\u015f\u0131l\u0131k veren solgun bir tebess\u00fcm g\u00f6r\u00fcnce, kapatm\u0131\u015f oldu\u011fum \u015femsiyemi sallayarak heyecanla, “Vay be! Vay be! Vay be!” diye ba\u011f\u0131rd\u0131m. Ama ayn\u0131 anda, asl\u0131nda bu mu\u011flak s\u00f6zlerle yetinmeyip, hayranl\u0131\u011f\u0131ma bir a\u00e7\u0131klama getirmeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmam gerekti\u011fini de d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcm.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Yine ayn\u0131 anda \u2014oradan ge\u00e7mekte olan, zaten olduk\u00e7a keyifsiz g\u00f6r\u00fcnen ve \u015femsiyenin y\u00fcz\u00fcne \u00e7arpmas\u0131na ramak kal\u0131nca keyfi iyice ka\u00e7\u0131p, “Bu g\u00fczel havada y\u00fcr\u00fcmek ne ho\u015f, de\u011fil mi?” dedi\u011fimde so\u011fuk bir cevap veren bir k\u00f6yl\u00fc sayesinde\u2014 ayn\u0131 duygular\u0131n \u00f6nceden belirlenmi\u015f bir d\u00fczene g\u00f6re, herkeste ayn\u0131 anda olu\u015fmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 da \u00f6\u011frendim. Daha sonralar\u0131, ne zaman uzunca bir s\u00fcre kitap okuyup ard\u0131ndan can\u0131m sohbet etmek istese, kendisiyle konu\u015fmak i\u00e7in yan\u0131p tutu\u015ftu\u011fum arkada\u015f\u0131m az \u00f6nce sohbetin hazz\u0131n\u0131 ya\u015fam\u0131\u015f olur, o esnada da rahat b\u0131rak\u0131l\u0131p kitap okumak isterdi. Annemle babam\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcp sevgiyle dolmu\u015f, onlar\u0131n en ho\u015funa gidecek, en ak\u0131ll\u0131 uslu kararlar\u0131 vermi\u015fsem, onlar tam da bu s\u00fcre i\u00e7inde benim unuttu\u011fum bir kabahatimi \u00f6\u011frenmi\u015f olurlar, ben onlar\u0131 \u00f6pmek \u00fczere kollar\u0131na at\u0131l\u0131rken, onlar kabahatimden \u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fc bana sert\u00e7e sitem ederlerdi.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Bazen yaln\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131n bana ya\u015fatt\u0131\u011f\u0131 co\u015fkunlu\u011fa ondan tam olarak ay\u0131ramad\u0131\u011f\u0131m bir ba\u015fka heyecan, sar\u0131l\u0131p kucaklayabilece\u011fim bir k\u00f6yl\u00fc k\u0131z\u0131n\u0131n kar\u015f\u0131ma \u00e7\u0131k\u0131vermesi arzusundan kaynaklanan bir ta\u015fk\u0131nl\u0131k eklenirdi. Bu arzuya e\u015flik eden \u00e7ok farkl\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcncelerin ortas\u0131nda, ben sebebini tam olarak anlamaya vakit bulamadan, ans\u0131z\u0131n ortaya \u00e7\u0131kan haz, bana o d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcncelerin ya\u015fatt\u0131\u011f\u0131 hazz\u0131n bir \u00fcst seviyesi gibi gelirdi sadece. O esnada zihnimde yer alan her \u015feye, kiremit \u00e7at\u0131daki pembe yans\u0131maya, yabani otlara ne zamand\u0131r gitmek istedi\u011fim Roussainville k\u00f6y\u00fcne, Roussainville Orman\u0131’n\u0131n a\u011fa\u00e7lar\u0131na, kilisenin \u00e7an kulesine fazladan bir de\u011fer atfederdim; s\u0131rf bu yeni heyecan\u0131 onlar\u0131n yaratt\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 zannetti\u011fim i\u00e7in g\u00f6z\u00fcmde daha arzulan\u0131r olurlar, yelkenimi kuvvetli, me\u00e7hul ve elveri\u015fli bir r\u00fczg\u00e2rla dolduran co\u015fku sanki beni onlara ula\u015ft\u0131rmak i\u00e7in acele ederdi. Bir kad\u0131n\u0131n ortaya \u00e7\u0131k\u0131vermesi arzusu benim nazar\u0131mda tabiat\u0131n cazibesine bir ba\u015fka co\u015fku kat\u0131yordu, ama buna kar\u015f\u0131l\u0131k, tabiat\u0131n cazibesi de kad\u0131n\u0131n fazlas\u0131yla s\u0131n\u0131rl\u0131 bulaca\u011f\u0131m cazibesini geni\u015fletiyordu. A\u011fa\u00e7lar\u0131n g\u00fczelli\u011fi bu kad\u0131n\u0131n da g\u00fczelli\u011fiymi\u015f, bu ufkun, Roussainville k\u00f6y\u00fcn\u00fcn, o y\u0131l okudu\u011fum kitaplar\u0131n ruhunu ellerime o kad\u0131n\u0131n \u00f6p\u00fcc\u00fc\u011f\u00fc<\/em> teslim edecekmi\u015f gibi geliyordu bana ve hayal g\u00fcc\u00fcm tenselli\u011fimle temas edip ondan g\u00fc\u00e7 ald\u0131k\u00e7a, tenselli\u011fim hayal g\u00fcc\u00fcm\u00fcn b\u00fct\u00fcn alanlar\u0131na yay\u0131ld\u0131k\u00e7a, arzum s\u0131n\u0131r tan\u0131m\u0131yordu. Bunun ba\u015fka bir nedeni de, \u2014al\u0131\u015fkanl\u0131\u011f\u0131n faaliyetine ara verdi\u011fi, nesnelere ili\u015fkin soyut bilgilerimizin bir yana b\u0131rak\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131, dolay\u0131s\u0131yla bulundu\u011fumuz yerin \u00f6zg\u00fcnl\u00fc\u011f\u00fcne, bireyselli\u011fine derinden inand\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z, tabiat\u0131n ortas\u0131ndaki tahayy\u00fcl anlar\u0131nda hep oldu\u011fu gibi\u2014 arzular\u0131m\u0131n seslendi\u011fi kad\u0131n\u0131n bana kad\u0131n cinsinin herhangi bir \u00f6rne\u011fi gibi de\u011fil, bu topra\u011f\u0131n zorunlu ve do\u011fal bir \u00fcr\u00fcn\u00fc gibi gelmesiydi. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc o s\u0131ralarda benim d\u0131\u015f\u0131mdaki \u015feyler, toprak ve insanlar, bana, yeti\u015fkin erkeklere g\u00f6r\u00fcnd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcnden daha de\u011ferli, daha \u00f6nemli, daha ger\u00e7ek bir varolu\u015fla donat\u0131lm\u0131\u015f gibi g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcyordu.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

“<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Marcel Proust, Kay\u0131p Zaman\u0131n \u0130zinde: Swann’lar\u0131n Taraf\u0131, \u00e7ev. Roza Hakmen, Yap\u0131 Kredi Yay\u0131nlar\u0131, 2019 [1913], 20. bas\u0131m, s. 156-8.<\/p>\r\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

“ O sonbahar yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131m gezintiler, saatlerce kitap okuduktan sonra gezmeye \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131\u011f\u0131m i\u00e7in, daha da zevkliydiler. B\u00fct\u00fcn sabah salonda kitap okumaktan yorgun d\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc\u011f\u00fcmde, battaniyemi omuzlar\u0131ma sar\u0131p d\u0131\u015far\u0131 \u00e7\u0131kard\u0131m; uzun m\u00fcddet mecburen bedenim, b\u0131rak\u0131lan bir topa\u00e7 gibi, bu fazlal\u0131klar\u0131 d\u00f6rt bir yana savurma ihtiyac\u0131 duyard\u0131. Evlerin duvarlar\u0131, Tansonville’in \u00e7iti, Roussainville Orman\u0131’n\u0131n a\u011fa\u00e7lar\u0131, Montjouvain’in s\u0131rt\u0131n\u0131 verdi\u011fi \u00e7al\u0131lar \u015femsiye … Continue reading Proust, Okuma Evreni ve D\u0131\u015f D\u00fcnya<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[33,8],"tags":[576,575],"class_list":["post-2603","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-alinti","category-roman","tag-kayip-zamanin-izinde","tag-marcel-proust"],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p9WYIs-FZ","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":2640,"url":"https:\/\/yalpertem.com\/blog\/2019\/06\/14\/proust-okuma-notlarim-ii-okuma-notu-bile-yazamamak\/","url_meta":{"origin":2603,"position":0},"title":"Proust Okuma Notlar\u0131m II | Okuma Notu Bile Yazamamak","author":"yalpertem","date":"14 June 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"\u00dcvert\u00fcr: Bu yaz\u0131 romanlarla hi\u00e7 ilgisi olmayan tam bir g\u00fcnl\u00fck girdisi oldu. Buran\u0131n g\u00fcnl\u00fck gibi bir yan\u0131 da oldu\u011fu i\u00e7in ileride d\u00f6n\u00fcp bakay\u0131m diye kay\u0131t alt\u0131na almak istedim. \u0130\u015fler, her zaman oldu\u011fu gibi, ba\u015fta d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm yolda ilerlemedi. \u201c\u0130\u015fler\u201d, \u201chayat\u201d ya da \u201cg\u00fcnler\u201d gibi kelimelerle sorumlulu\u011fu birinciden \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcnc\u00fc tekile kayd\u0131rmay\u0131 seviyorum.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "proust notlar\u0131"","block_context":{"text":"proust notlar\u0131","link":"https:\/\/yalpertem.com\/blog\/category\/proust-notlari\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/yalpertem.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/Bhupen-Khakhar-Landscaping-on-Head-1985-224x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":2615,"url":"https:\/\/yalpertem.com\/blog\/2019\/05\/15\/proust-okuma-notlarim-i-swannlarin-tarafi\/","url_meta":{"origin":2603,"position":1},"title":"Proust Okuma Notlar\u0131m I | Swann’lar\u0131n Taraf\u0131","author":"yalpertem","date":"15 May 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Cesaret edip okumaya ba\u015flad\u0131m Proust'u sonunda, hen\u00fcz Swann'lar\u0131n Taraf\u0131'n\u0131 bitirdim. \u00c7i\u00e7ek A\u00e7m\u0131\u015f Gen\u00e7 K\u0131zlar\u0131n G\u00f6lgesinde'ye ba\u015fl\u0131yorum. 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Anlam\u0131n d\u0131\u015f\u0131na \u00e7\u0131kmak, hi\u00e7bir yere gitmemek, belli bir bilgi ya da bilgisizlik noktas\u0131ndan yola \u00e7\u0131kmaks\u0131z\u0131n\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "al\u0131nt\u0131"","block_context":{"text":"al\u0131nt\u0131","link":"https:\/\/yalpertem.com\/blog\/category\/alinti\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/yalpertem.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/marguerite-duras-somut-yasam-188x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":1003,"url":"https:\/\/yalpertem.com\/blog\/2018\/03\/04\/blanchot-yazma-kitap-ve-okuma-uzerine-i\/","url_meta":{"origin":2603,"position":4},"title":"Blanchot, Yazma, Kitap ve Okuma \u00dczerine (I)","author":"yalpertem","date":"4 March 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Bir Blanchot kitab\u0131ndan \"yaz\u0131\" \u00fczerine k\u0131sa bir pasaj al\u0131nt\u0131lamak ahmakl\u0131k. K\u00fclliyat\u0131 zaten yazmay\u0131, okumay\u0131, al\u0131nt\u0131lamay\u0131, ba\u015fka metinleri, onlar\u0131n yazarlar\u0131yla muhabbeti ku\u015fatm\u0131\u015f okur-yazardan b\u00f6ylesi bir par\u00e7a s\u00f6k\u00fcp \u00e7\u0131karmak utan\u00e7 verici. Ne okumak, ne yazmak, ne konu\u015fmak, ne var ki sadece bunlarda yatar daha \u015fimdiden s\u00f6ylenmi\u015f olandan, Bilme'den, anla\u015fmadan kurtulu\u015fumuz, verilenin belki\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "al\u0131nt\u0131"","block_context":{"text":"al\u0131nt\u0131","link":"https:\/\/yalpertem.com\/blog\/category\/alinti\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/yalpertem.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/maurice-blanchot-felaket-yazisi-198x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":2574,"url":"https:\/\/yalpertem.com\/blog\/2019\/05\/02\/ileri-elestirel-kurmaca-kurmaca-elestiri\/","url_meta":{"origin":2603,"position":5},"title":"\u0130leri, Ele\u015ftirel Kurmaca & Kurmaca Ele\u015ftiri","author":"yalpertem","date":"2 May 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Cem \u0130leri'nin Okurun Belle\u011fi kitab\u0131 Sebald'\u0131n yap\u0131t\u0131na (bu terimi de ondan \u00f6\u011frendim) yak\u0131n okuma yap\u0131yor. Temel referans\u0131 Benjamin, okudu\u011fum ilk 150 sayfada en s\u0131k an\u0131lan \u00f6teki yazar Proust -bazen de Barthes. Ben bilmiyorum Proust'u hen\u00fcz. (Kitap bitti\u011finde bu evrenin \u00e7ok daha katmanl\u0131 ve zengin oldu\u011funu \u00f6\u011frenmi\u015ftim.) Ele\u015ftirel Kurmaca ve Kurmaca\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "al\u0131nt\u0131"","block_context":{"text":"al\u0131nt\u0131","link":"https:\/\/yalpertem.com\/blog\/category\/alinti\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/yalpertem.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/cem-ileri-okurun-belle%C4%9Fi.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"amp_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/yalpertem.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2603","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/yalpertem.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/yalpertem.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yalpertem.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yalpertem.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2603"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/yalpertem.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2603\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3928,"href":"https:\/\/yalpertem.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2603\/revisions\/3928"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/yalpertem.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2603"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yalpertem.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2603"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yalpertem.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2603"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}