Ba\u015fkas\u0131 bamba\u015fka bir fig\u00fcre yorar elbet bu anlat\u0131c\u0131y\u0131. Benim kafamda g\u00f6zlemci var. Hayata bir t\u00fcrl\u00fc kar\u0131\u015fmayan, kar\u0131\u015famayan, seyir h\u00e2linde bekleyen yaya. Cam\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131p havaya ve seslere kar\u0131\u015famad\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan, d\u0131\u015far\u0131y\u0131 etkilememe \u00e7abas\u0131na ko\u015fut d\u0131\u015far\u0131dan etkilenmeme mecburiyeti de var. Ne olup bitecekse i\u00e7eride olmal\u0131. Merhem, ila\u00e7, sar\u0131lma, \u00f6\u011f\u00fct, destek, payla\u015fma yok. Bak\u0131\u015f nas\u0131l tek y\u00f6nl\u00fcyse -her bak\u0131\u015f olmasa da g\u00f6zlemcinin bak\u0131\u015f\u0131- ya\u015famak da tek y\u00f6nl\u00fc oluyor b\u00f6yle etkile\u015fime kapal\u0131 kuruldu\u011funda.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Pop\u00fcler bir \u015fiirmi\u015f, okuyup par\u00e7alar\u0131n\u0131 Google’da arad\u0131ktan sonra \u00f6\u011frendim. Onlarca sitede izi s\u00fcr\u00fclm\u00fc\u015f, payla\u015f\u0131lm\u0131\u015f, dertlenilmi\u015f. Demek b\u00f6yle bir halet-i ruhiye rastlanabilir bir durum. Ama yine, herkes kendi me\u015frebince de\u011fer bi\u00e7iyordur, benim sezmedi\u011fim onca \u015fey vard\u0131r, oralardan bakanlar i\u00e7in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Her \u015fey olup bitti\u011finde, a\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131zda, kar\u015f\u0131m\u0131za \u00e7\u0131kacak olan\u0131n \u00f6ncekinden daha zorlu olaca\u011f\u0131 ihtimaline yak\u0131n\u0131m. \u0130ki ana temam\u0131 i\u00e7eriyor: d\u0131\u015far\u0131dal\u0131k ve karamsarl\u0131k. \u0130kisi direkt ili\u015fkili diyemeyiz, d\u0131\u015far\u0131da durup iyiyi, g\u00fczeli ve imk\u00e2nlar\u0131 tespit eden g\u00f6zlemcilerin say\u0131s\u0131 da az\u0131msanamaz. Onlar di\u011fer g\u00f6zlemcileri k\u0131skand\u0131r\u0131r, \u00f6zendirir.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
G\u00fcnler biz dokunmad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131zda “kendi kendine” mi ge\u00e7ecekler? Cam\u0131n \u00f6tesine ge\u00e7ti\u011fimizde g\u00fcnlerin ge\u00e7i\u015fini etkiliyoruz o halde. Karamsarl\u0131\u011f\u0131n i\u00e7inden bir \u00f6zne, tamamen ku\u015fat\u0131l\u0131p bast\u0131r\u0131lmam\u0131\u015f fakat geri \u00e7ekilme \u00f6zg\u00fcrl\u00fc\u011f\u00fc bulunan \u00f6zne de yakalabiliyor olmak, pek de bast\u0131r\u0131lmam\u0131\u015f bir kendili\u011fin varl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 tatmam\u0131za olana sa\u011fl\u0131yor. G\u00f6zlemciyi camlar\u0131n ard\u0131na atmad\u0131lar, o bile isteye orada durmay\u0131 se\u00e7ti.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n
“<\/p>\n\n\n\n
XXII<\/p>\n\n\n\n
G\u00fcnler \u00f6ylece kendi kendine ge\u00e7sin diye Bir cam\u0131n arkas\u0131nda durdum Bana dokunmas\u0131n hi\u00e7bir \u015fey Hi\u00e7bir \u015fey yarama merhem olmas\u0131n \u0130yile\u015fecekse, hi\u00e7bir \u015feysiz iyile\u015fsin diye Bir cam\u0131n arkas\u0131nda durup Akan hayata ve zamana bakt\u0131m.
Bilirdim, biliyordum, biliyorum, Bitti\u011finde, ge\u00e7ti\u011finde, Azald\u0131\u011f\u0131nda s\u0131z\u0131, iyile\u015fti\u011fimde, O saman tad\u0131yla kar\u0131\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131nda; Her \u015fey daha ac\u0131 olacak. “<\/p>\n\n\n\n
![\"\"](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/yalpertem.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/birhan-keskin-yol.jpg?resize=276%2C414\")
<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n